Monday, March 07, 2011

Movie Melayu Paling Crap Yang Pernah Aku Tengok.

...And that's saying something.

WARNING: BAHASA ROJAK COMING RIGHT UP!


Hari tu I was watching Cuti-Cuti Cinta, sebuah filem arahan Ahmad Idham, starring these two:



It came out in cinemas last October, I think, so it's a bit late to be talking about it now, but I'm pretty sure they're currently showing it on TV, so I'm not that late.

The movie's supposed to be a romantic comedy, but it fails on so many levels.

First of all, romantic comedies are supposed to be funny. I don't think I cracked a single smile throughout the entire movie. And no, I'm not uptight. Anyone who knows me IRL knows I laugh quite a bit too much. So there. The jokes in Cuti-Cuti Cinta are lame and basi, and rely mostly on stereotypes.


Me, watching Cuti-Cuti Cinta.

Secondly, romantic comedies are supposed to be romantic.

[SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!]

Nora Danish's character, Eeva, is supposed to be a spoiled brat from KL who merajuks big time and runs off to a hotel by a beach because her fiance is a jerk. When she arrives at the hotel, she makes a big fuss out of everything, and we spend quite a bit of time watching her whine and complain. Along comes Farid Kamil's character, Omar, a housekeeper at the hotel. He's supposed to be the hero. He's a Gary Stu type guy- budak kampung yang kononnya baik dan pandai dan humble (which explains why he's in housekeeping), and (I assume he's supposed to be) handsome.

Kampung boy meets bratty girl from the city, the two get stuck on an island, argue consistently, and then !SUDDENLY! they fall in love with each other.

Quickest, most unbelievable relationship yang dijalin dalam sebuah movie. Ever.
[END OF SPOILER!!!!!!!!!]

I've watched quite a lot of Malay movies, but never have I felt compelled to write an entire blog post about any of them, no matter how bad they were. But the rubbishness of Cuti-Cuti Cinta has riled me up so much, it has moved me to write. I haven't written anything on this blog for a whole month, and Cuti-Cuti Cinta has forced me out of my hiding place. Oh yes, it's that bad.

So why am I being so emotional, you ask?

Oh, I'll tell you why.

Omar and Eeva do not get along with each other. The dude's a goody-two-shoes (that's how the director wants you to see him, anyway), and the girl's annoying and insufferable. At one point in the movie, Omar gets fed up with Eeva's constant whining and complaining.

Eeva: [insert annoying lines here about how it's Omar's fault they're stuck on this dreadful island]
Omar: Ko nak aku tampar ko? (raises hand)
Eeva: Ko berani? Tampar lah!


And believe it not, Omar slaps her.

Twice.

Hard.

With totally unrelated bouncy comedy music playing in the background.

As Eeva stomps off angrily, Omar suddenly makes a roaring sound (imitating a tiger, I suppose) to scare Eeva, and Eeva, being a typical Malay drama heroine yang weak dan bimbotic, gets so shocked, she turns around and hurries over back to Omar and, bak kata my sister Anisah, 'collapses into his warm, powerful wife-beating arms.'

No, seriously, watch it yourself in the video below. The scene starts at around minute 47:33.



WHAT.

THE.

And there I was, absolutely shocked. I made Firdaus watch that bit and he was shocked, too. Mouth fell agape and everything.

Oh, but that's not all.

Few scenes later, and Omar and Eeva are arguing again.

Omar: Ko ingat ko cantik? (Looks at Eeva's chest) Apa tu? Nasi lemak 50 sen!
Eeva: Itu sudah melampau! (slaps Omar)

And guess what? Omar slaps her back really hard, and then bites her hand. And there's that stupid happy music in the background again.

At that point, I was absolutely enraged.

What civilized man would ever lay a hand on a woman like that? And this is supposed to be the likable hero?! Sure, Eeva's as annoying as an itchy scab you can't scratch, but annoying behaviour does not warrant a slap across the face. If I were Eeva, I'd probably have killed him in his sleep. Ok, maybe not, but I wouldn't have stayed within a mile from that guy. I'd have attempted to get off the island without him. I'd rather die from drowning than get beaten to death by some abuser! Oh, but I've yet to see a heroine dalam filem Melayu yang boleh save her own butt.

So you can imagine how horrified and angry I was after that when all of a sudden, after having one conversation with Omar, Eeva actually starts warming up to her abuser (Stockholm Syndrome, maybe, says Anisah), and after spending some time back in KL, she decides to leave her fiance and run back to that hotel by the beach in order to be with Omar.

End of movie.

WHAT WAS THAT I DONT EVEN


***

If you were to judge the movie based on what I've written here, you'd think it was a psychological drama/thriller about how abuse victims express adulation and develop positive feelings towards their captors. But no. It's supposed to be a romantic comedy.

Thankfully, I'm not the only one complaining about this movie. I searched online to see if anyone else felt what I felt, and found out that Mangga Online questioned the quality of the movie, too.

Ahmad Idham was quick to defend himself:

Kualiti itu subjektif. [...] Saya gunakan kamera high definition (HD) untuk mendapatkan kualiti terbaik. Saya sudah arahkan 20 lebih filem dan semuanya hit mencecah kutipan lebih daripada RM2 juta. Kualiti bagaimana yang dimaksudkan? Anda katakan filem saya tiada kualiti, namun kutipan yang dicatat menyatakan sebaliknya.



Excuse the F word.

Err, yeah, Ahmad Idham. Grasping at straws, much? That 2004 Catwoman movie earned millions more than any of your movies ever did. But no amount of money it earned or HD cameras they used made it any less crap.

What I don't get is how they can be let off for not only making such a bad movie, but for making a bad movie where the hero physically abuses the heroine. We're supposed to be okay with that?! Do they WANT people to think hitting other people's fine? What were they thinking? I assume they weren't thinking at all.

I can accept one man being completely and utterly clueless, but the fact that a whole team of people working on the movie were stupid enough to even get involved is just mindblowingly unbelievable.

Really.

Ahmad Idham also added:

Sebenarnya filem yang ringan lebih sukar untuk dibuat berbanding filem berat. Dan kita harus tengok lenggok filem dan permintaan penonton kerana perjalanan industri memang begitu.

If you're just gonna make movies berdasarkan permintaan penonton sahaja instead of being innovative and creating movies that are new and fresh, then we'd end up with a bunch of movies that are all the same (which explains why filem-filem hantu are being churned out every single flipping month).

Local filmmakers need to stop assuming that their audience is stupid. Any layman can tell that many local filmmakers are too scared to take risks so they end up relying on the same old simple formulas to make money. This just proves that they assume audiences will lap up anything the studios spit out.

Really. We're not all stupid. In fact, I'm pretty sure there are millions more smart people than there are ones yang malas nak guna otak. There's a reason why The King's Speech reigned supreme at this year's Academy Awards. Why it beat big-budget hits like Avatar and Inception. The movie had soul, intelligence, wit, and emotion. Malaysian filmmakers need to learn that it takes more than just millions of dollars worth of HD cameras, special effects and pretty/handsome actors in order to make a hit. Those don't mean a thing when you haven't got a compelling, smart story in the first place. So go on and take some risks. Come up with something that intelligent people can enjoy. And because intelligent people make up the majority of the Malaysian population, the amount of money that comes rolling in may very well surprise you.

22 comments:

Rudy said...

omg I didn't even bother to watch it because I knew it'd be that crappy according to the synopsis. I agree with you all the way!


PS: Nama heroine Eeva serious tak boleh blah. Tak semestinya a spoiled brat kena ada nama yang moden macam Eeva and neither a kampung guy must have a classic Malay name like Omar. Fail.

Aisya S. said...

Haha, the guy's name is actually Omar Rudy... He doesn't deserve the name Rudy! What a disgrace to the name!

Oh, nasib baik you didn't watch the movie. Wise move. That would've been 90 minutes of your life gone to waste....

Bashtiah said...

Finally a blog entry! I've been waiting for your latest entry and so yes, I could feel your eagerness in wanting to write about this movie... Ahah!

It must be REALLY REALLY bad, huh... I'm not a really big fan so well, that was it. Hahah..

Aisya S. said...

You guys ni kan. Kalau tengok boleh la jugak kita comment about the movie sama-sama. :P But it's ok! I guess this serves as a warning to those who were planning to watch this...

Rudy said...

Omar Rudy!? OMG WHAT. I feel so humiliated! :P

Aisya S. said...

Rightfully so, Rudy! :P

Oh what a coincidence, today's International Women's Day!

Happy Women's Day, y'all.

Far Martin said...

I can't accept the fact that the idea of hitting women is funny does not only pass through Ahmad Idham's head, but also the castings, the crews involved, and that censorship body that is so quick to censor depictions of realityin movies the...y claimed too 'raw' but so carelessly approved this. The production of this movie did not go through one or two parties, it involved a lot of people. But it managed to surpass all these ignorant fucks who failed to see how disturbing this is and how serious the issue of violence against women is in this country. This movie indeed degrades the whole population of viewers to a new low.

And people thought I was too arrogant to vouch to not watch any Malay movies produced ever again.See More

Helena Varkkey said...

and this is just after i read an article about cedaw in the star.

i'm hoping at least they had considerable trouble to find actors/actresses willing to play the roles. which doesn't say much for those two who ended up in the movie. boo.

Aisya S. said...

Ugh, the youtube vid's not showing up in this facebook note... Did you guys actually see that scene? It is horrific, I'm telling you.

Exactly, Far, I can't believe that the hundreds of people involved in getting this piece of crap to cinemas... and television stations can't see how extremely horrible the whole movie is! There are other negative messages the movie actually puts forth, but I didn't mention them here. Panjang sangat.

But seriously, do they not know that hitting women is a serious offense? And do they not know that by portraying it in this manner yang kononnya kelakar, millions of ignorant men watching will think it's perfectly okay to hit women, and millions of ignorant women will think it's okay to be hit by men? Ugh, I'm so angry.

Helena, I was actually thinking about saying something about this to people who can actually do something about it, but I have no idea how or who to contact/write to. I dunno, I just feel like the movie was too much.

Oh, I don't think they had any trouble at all finding actors/actresses willing to play the roles. It's not like Malay actors are spoilt for choice when it comes to accepting actual good roles. And when they do stupid things in movies (that later get criticized by the media), they blame the script. Like they have no brains or principles of their own. Sigh.

Alia Zul said...

sorry, i am rather 'ignorant', is this another metrowealth movie? if yes, i'm not surprised.david teo produces a lot of movies annually compared to other producers. after the movies hit the cinema, he would sell them to astro. one thing abo...ut astro, the need those movies to fill up their slots (and they can compromise quality) because many other movie/drama producers would choose rtm and tv3 because the payment would be faster compared to astro. i guess david teo has a lot of money that's why he wait for the payment and still make more movies. lepas dia buat movie, he'll come up with the sequels, after u get tired of the sequels, he'll turn the movie into serials. and the best thing is many people become addicted to this trend.

Take Adnan Sempit for example, first u saw it at the cinema, then you can subscribe that channel on Astro to watch it, after that they come up with the never-ending series..(I am clueless as to why people would wanna watch the same story over and over again, walaupun they add bits here and there)

Other than MIG, Astro Shaw pun did the same thing with Lagenda Budak Setan. Tapi i think the greatest guru of all time (in Msia, that is) is Yusof Haslam and his Skop Production kot hahaha: - Sembilu, Maria Mariana :D

perhaps they're trying to creating something similar to 'brand loyalty' kot, :P.

Magika didn't make as much as many other MIG movies but I find it very interesting and entertaining. Look forward to watch Merong Mahawangsa this march :D

and yeah, i don't think any hero (or any man) should hit women. dunno what sort of game they're playing and what sort of comedy they're aiming at..

Helena Varkkey said...

Ps/ I quite enjoyed Magika too :)

Aisya S. said...

Kak Alia, yep, it's a Metrowealth movie alright. So basically these filmmakers are nothing more than businessmen with no eye for art or quality. It's really sad.

Hearing you guys say good things about Magika gives me hope (I haven't watched it myself, but KakZimah says it's okay), and Merong Mahawangsa looks promising. Hope it's not just hype though!

anisah shurfa said...

Malay movies fail. Sini Ada Hantu was quite funny, though!

Kak Zimah said...

I did the subtitles for Magika on Astro. The film's not bad, quite entertaining and the mother-son scene actually made me cry. It was one of the best experience of watching a Malay movie and surviving the subtitle experience without feeling like I've got brain cancer.

Maybe there's hope with KRU. I can see they are influenced by fast-paced storytelling which should be the norm here in Malaysian movies but sadly, not for Adham and David Teo. Don't get me started on the shows I had to subtitle for them!

Your sarcastic Kak Zimah said...

Oh, the slap thinggy--no big deal in that context (only) probably because the character's doing it on behalf of the audience watching it who really wanted to slap her because she's so unlikeable. Only that the HD camera doens't allow our fist and hands to go through the screen. Here, let me slap her too. Oops, my arms can't reach. Sigh in despair.

Aisya S. said...

Anisah, have you read The Movie Blogger Fella's blog? He is SO funny. I found his review of Cuti Cuti Cinta after I wrote this, and his criticism is so funny and true and pedas. He describes the movie as, plainly, taik. LMAO. I have to agree. He also reviewed Sini Ada Hantu, and I was surprised to learn he gave it quite a good review.

KakZimah! I hope you're being sarcastic about the slap thing! Sure, we sisters can't tahan gedikness and do feel the urge to slap gedik people at times, but they shouldn't have made Farid Kamil the one to slap her...

Steph said...

I've been seeing the ads for the movie on astro, and it sounds like your time would be better spent doing practically anything else... but i had no idea it was actually this bad! =0!

Totally loved The King's Speech too!!

lubnaaa said...

I never watch Malay movies, except a few. I can't stomach them, even the funny ones that like-minded friends recommend. The last movie I remember watching and actually enjoying is probably Suami, Isteri Dan... but I haven't revisited that movie in a long while.

Love your gifs Pai, too funny!

Anonymous said...

actually im quite agree.but not the slap part.she deserves to be slap.its true.if you're in omar position.if a woman said it like that.mmg kne penampar la.ckp biadap.btw good review.
'kak limah balik kanpung'is awesome.

Aisya S. said...

Anonymous, I assume you're a dude, because I don't think any woman would ever say another woman deserves to be slapped by a man. You should really think about what you just said. Domestic abuse is a serious issue that mostly stays hidden behind locked doors. If a man so much as raises his hand to hit a woman, it says so much about his character - that he's violent and aggressive, and is not a good choice for a husband unless he's gone through some serious counseling and behaviour correction. Even if a man is calm and collected most of the time, once he hits a woman, it's like opening the gates to further abuse, and it can only get worse from then on.

Women, if you are with someone who so much as threatens to hit you, you should really get up and leave him. No woman, no matter how annoying or bitchy, deserves to be with a monster.

Amnah Shurfa said...

I wrote a comment just now, but my internet connection got disconnected.

It's sad that we have people in the media who are so ignorant towards violence against women.

Anonymous said...

I was Googling "Ahmad Idham sucks" and it lead me to this site. Couldn't agree with you any
less, especially the last few paragraphs. Not that I've watched Cuti-Cuti Cinta but after
seeing Jangan Pandang Belakang, Niyang Rapik and Mael Lambong, there is an impression
that this man is more interested in quantity filmmaking, not quality.

IMHO Ahmad Idham could no worse if he just rediscover the classic filmmaking styles
of Akira Kurosawa, Ingmar Bergman (both in terms of creating epic, psychologically
effective statements) and Alfred Hitchcock (in terms of building suspense, since he like
doing horror movies).

Guess this all sounds too much to ask, or maybe it's already too late for him -
Hard to say.