Friday, May 29, 2009
Get Yourself Off the Floor!
But seriously, I don’t know how many times I have to repeat this before you can finally understand this, but honey, stop depending on other people to make you happy! It’s this clingy, dependant attitude that pushes people away. It’s your jealousy that scares them off.
Now I know you’re gonna say I’m not qualified to say anything because I’ve never had my heart broken, but I do know what it’s like to be in a relationship, and I know exactly what pushes people away.
First and foremost, do something about that jealous streak of yours. They were right when they said that the reason you get jealous of other girls is because you’re insecure. You think those other girls are prettier than you, cleverer than you, wittier than you…
And this in turn makes you clingy. You think that once a guy falls for you, you’ve hit jackpot, and now you must never let him get out of your sight lest he accidently looks at another girl and finds her better than you. Why should he be with Frumpy when he could be with Fluffy? And if he leaves, your life is over because no one will ever fall for you because you’re such a loser. Well that’s what you think, anyway.
This sort of attitude consumes you from the inside. The only reason why you’re unattractive is because you let that entire negative attitude take over you. No one likes to be around those who are eternally pessimistic and self-conscious, so learn to love yourself.
When he dumps you, (and he will if you’re permanently moody and possessive,) don’t spend an entire year thinking about suicide and pain killers and crying your eyes out whenever Ne-Yo’s So Sick of Love Songs gets played. Use that time instead to start loving yourself. To learn that no one is responsible for making you happy except yourself.
You’re not ugly. There’s no such thing. Don’t believe me? Okay, I know for a FACT that some people find Michael Jackson totally sexay in his current state. You and I may think he looks like what the Grim Reaper may look like underneath the hood, but there are those who appreciate that kind of… face. I’m not saying I think you look like Michael Jackson, though…
And you may think you have zero talent in anything, but those heart-wrenching blog posts you write prove that you have a knack in writing. That bubbly personality that seems to shine when you’re in love should be allowed to come out even when you’re flying solo. And that can only happen when you can find happiness within yourself, without the help of some bloke who wasn’t even in your life when you had happier moments before romantic relationships were introduced to you. Wow, can you believe that? You are capable of being happy without being someone else’s girlfriend!
Come on, girl. Let’s get up off the floor, off our sorry behinds and start living. You’ll feel much better, and other people will want to be with you. And those boys who come trailing after you in the future? They’re just the icing on the cake.
Lots of love,
From Me.
ps: If you think this is directed towards you, it's probably because it is. ;)
Monday, May 25, 2009
I'm Am Now Officially a Twit
Damnit, I thought I'd be able to stay away...
Let's see how long I'll last on this wagon!
Lots of love
from twitter.com/aisyashurfa
Sunday, May 17, 2009
That's Sew Cool.
*GULP*. I'm next in line.
So anyway...
My cooking may taste like burnt poop (or not taste of anything at all!) and I'm not exactly the best at cleaning and tidying up rooms, but -- get ready for this -- this undomestic clutz can sew!
During my final sem in UM, I had to sew a lot of stuff for our drama production, and while I was armed with only the basic knowledge on how to operate my mama's sewing machine and darn needles, I managed to create an 18 feet long backdrop (or was it 18 meters? All I remember is sewing something so long, I felt like it would never end!), various screens and little coin pouches. And when I was done with all that, I felt a great sense of accomplishment. Because I thought I was useless at doing anything useful. Hehe.
Since I have no more classes to go to, and a full-time job isn't what I'm looking for as I'll be doing my Masters, insyaallah, in July, I've been occupied with creating things. I've recorded a bunch of crappy songs, helped around in the kitchen, and let loose the seamstress in me. :B
And here's what I've created!
It's a shirred top which fits both me and my skinny 13 year old sister Aida even though my own measurements were used. And I'm like 10 times meatier than Aida. Shirred tops are so the shiz.
But Aida wanted one of her own so I'm in the process of making one for her. Here's the work in progress.
So that's pretty much all I wanted to share with you today. I'm just pretty chuffed at what I've managed to create. :D I might attempt to make sexy boxers next, and maybe even a mini dress for Umairah. Hee! Sewing is so addictive.
Lots of love,
from Me.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
I'll Miss All of You
Yesterday, we finally finished our final finals paper.
And while I'm feeling like I could run for miles and miles till I run out of road, there's a part of me that wants to curl up into a ball and bawl my eyes out cuz I'll miss (some) of the people I've met and made friends with in UM.
I'm sure I'll still be able to meet some of them in the near future, but it's the thought of losing some of them forever that makes me wanna... promote the fanatical use of facebook (friendster is so 90's, haha) and advertise the idea of blogging to those who haven't already started one yet. ;)
Keep in touch, darlings, and don't be so malu malu to invite each other out. That reminds me. We still need to go out for ice cream!
Lots of love,
from AEA060010.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Randomness #3: We Love Hijab
I love this website! It's hip, it's cool, it's pretty, and it's Islamic!
We Love Hijab!
Click the link for some fashion ideas and some enlightenment.
If beautiful American Muslim women can wear the hijab loud and proud, then why can't we? ;)
Here's one of the many cool articles from the site.
7 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WEAR THAT OUTFIT
1. Am I following my understanding of hijab as best as I can?
There are so many different opinions about what hijab is and what it is not. Some Muslim women only wear black, some Muslim women cover their faces, some Muslim women wear specific regional styles of clothing, and some Muslim women mix it all together. Whatever you choose to wear, as a Muslimah, you are responsible for finding out what Allah expects of you. My beliefs of how we have to dress are clearly presented on this website, but you have to do your own research. Ask Allah for guidance and then follow what you understand hijab to be to the best of your ability. As long as your intentions and actions are good, Allah will be pleased with you, inshallah. And that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?
2. Am I trying to make someone jealous or envious of me by wearing this?
We’ve all heard of the phrase “dress to impress”, but some women take this concept too far. It’s one thing to make sure that you look good for, perhaps, a job interview. (You don’t want to show up in tattered, old jeans do you?) But, it’s another thing to be completely arrogant in what you wear.
If you’re the type of girl who dresses up just to go to the grocery store (I’m guilty of this and actually, I recommend it!), you probably don’t dress that way out of arrogance. For me, it’s about how I feel about myself. When I dress up, I feel confident, presentable, and pretty - Allah loves beauty and there’s nothing wrong with feeling it!
On the other hand, you have women who dress up only when they’re going to be around certain other women. Many of us are guilty of doing this at one time or another. Only you know what your intentions are, so be mindful of them. Dress to make yourself feel good and be careful not to be a Show-Off.
3. Is my clothing tight?
Some people would have you believe that wearing a big, black abaya will completely conceal your curves at all times. Well, what happens when the wind blows your abaya to the right while you’re walking to the left? Sometimes, your shape will accidentally be revealed and no matter how many layers of clothes you pile on, you simply cannot disguise a healthy booty or a big chest! That said, you still need to be mindful of how tight your clothing is so that in ordinary situations (when the wind is not blowing your clothing all over the place), you’re covered properly.
A few things to think about: If you had to stretch your shirt over your chest just to button it up, your shirt is too tight. If you can clearly define the shape of your body when standing still in front of the mirror, your clothes are too tight. If you broke a sweat trying to put those pants on, they’re way too tight! There are a few other things to look for when trying to figure out whether or not your clothes are tight, but they’re all pretty obvious… When in doubt, check yourself out in the mirror again!
4. Is my clothing see-through?
What girl doesn’t love a frilly, lacy bra that’s worthy of a Victoria’s Secret runway show? I know that I love them, but I also know that I need to keep them to myself (and my hubby of course!). Transparency is a big fashion trend for Spring 2008. You’ll be seeing sheer tops, jackets, and pants all over the place, but those things are definitely not fit for Muslimahs. We all know that layering comes with the territory when you’re a Muslim woman, so if you find that whatever you’re wearing is a bit see-through, just throw on something opaque (like a t-shirt) underneath of it and you’ll be good to go!
5. Is what I’m wearing extravagant?
We already spoke about the fact that Muslim women shouldn’t dress up just to impress other people, but that rule is based on your intentions. Extravagance is a bit more difficult to define because what’s extravagant to me might not be extravagant to another Muslimah.
What does the word “extravagant” mean? One of the definitions of the word “extravagant” is that it is something that is excessive and unreasonable. For example, wearing a wedding gown on your wedding day is great! But, wearing your wedding gown outside on any other day is extravagant. You get the idea, right?
A few tips: If your entire outfit is shimmery, glittery, sparkly, and beaded, it might be a little extravagant. If you have jewelry on every single part of your body (rings on all 10 fingers, bangles up to your elbows, and a huge nose ring), it might be a little extravagant. If you’re abaya is trailing behind you like the train of a wedding gown, it might be a little extravagant. Ok, now I’ll admit that those 3 examples may have been a little extravagant themselves, but you get the idea! If you just can’t figure out whether or not your attire is a bit too much, take off some of your jewelry, or take off one of your decorative items and replace it with something that’s more simple in style.
6. Is my hair completely covered?
We’re all friends here right? So, let’s be real with each other. If you’re going to cover your hair, you probably should cover all of it. No bangs are allowed. No deliberate baby hairs plastered to your forehead with hair gel. And please, none of that half-scarf-on half-scarf-off stuff. With all of the lovely hijab pins out there, it’s unfathomable that a Muslimah can’t keep her scarf on properly. If you don’t believe that we have to cover our hair in the first place, well then I guess you’re excused. But, if you’re going to wear hijab, you should try your best to wear it correctly.
7. Is my chest covered?
Cleavage and headscarves just do not go together. It just doesn’t look right, you know? I’m not trying to give you an Islamic history lesson here, but… To my understanding, back in Prophet Muhammad’s (s.a.w.) time, women (both Muslims and non-Muslims) wore headscarves that hung down behind their backs (click here for an idea of what that scarf style looks like). They also wore garments that looked similar to a man’s ihram (click here for an example). These garments left the women’s cleavages and upper skin exposed. Allah revealed verse 24:31 in the Qur’an to address this issue, stating that Muslim women should “…draw their veils over their bosoms…” So, this is pretty clear. If your top doesn’t cover your entire chest area, or if your shirt is really tight on your chest, just be sure that your hijab hangs down low enough to give you the proper coverage.
So that concludes my little list. I hope that I haven’t offended you and I hope that you enjoyed reading it. If you did, please invite other Muslimahs to come and read it as well. As always, I look forward to reading your comments on this article and if you have anything to add to the list, please post it up in the comments!
xoxo Kima
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Have a look through the site, sisters. Have fun!
Lots of love,
from Me.
Friday, May 01, 2009
If You Love Me, Then You Should Accept the Fact That…
Pft.
Just because you’re in a relationship with someone (be it a romantic or platonic one) it doesn’t mean you have the right to disrespect each other and then say sorry the next day or be mad at the person on the receiving end for not being able to put up with your nonsense.
What’s that you said? She should be able to accept you the way you are? Dude, jerkish attitudes shouldn’t be accepted by anyone. Not even by your own mother, never mind anyone else outside your family!
We all know the sappy stuff people say in those cheesy rom-com movies:
‘If you loved me, you would put up with me…’
‘I love you for your flaws…’
Awww. That’s so sweet.
But darling, real life ain’t the movies. If a girl accepted a guy for his abusive behavior, she’d only end up being a victim of abuse again and again and again. If a guy accepts the fact that his girl’s a green-eyed monster who’s always accusing him of cheating on her every time he receives a text message from another girl, then he should be ready to spend his lifetime not talking to anyone of the opposite sex, because if he does, then he’ll have to keep defending himself and feel guilty all the time for doing something he never actually did. How emotionally exhausting!
Face it. Your jealousy doesn’t prove how much you love someone— it’ll only drive that person away. You can’t expect your best friend to just lie down and let you stomp all over them whenever you feel like having emotional outbursts, and then call them a bad friend when they won’t put up with you. Your insecurities may seem endearing at first, but when you let them rule you, you’ll end up fulfilling your own paranoid prophecies.
Sure, such behavior can be acceptable the first time (except abusive behavior, of course. Girl, if that guy so much as raises his hand to hit you, then you must walk away), but if this is the tenth time you feel disappointed by a certain way your partner/friend’s been treating you, then it’s about time you set things straight. Be more assertive and stand up for yourself. You can lend support, but you can’t let other people make you miserable.
And if you’ve been pissing your friend/partner off with your crappy behavior, please fix that attitude. If you truly loved someone, you wouldn’t want to hurt them.


