Pft.
Just because you’re in a relationship with someone (be it a romantic or platonic one) it doesn’t mean you have the right to disrespect each other and then say sorry the next day or be mad at the person on the receiving end for not being able to put up with your nonsense.
What’s that you said? She should be able to accept you the way you are? Dude, jerkish attitudes shouldn’t be accepted by anyone. Not even by your own mother, never mind anyone else outside your family!
We all know the sappy stuff people say in those cheesy rom-com movies:
‘If you loved me, you would put up with me…’
‘I love you for your flaws…’
Awww. That’s so sweet.
But darling, real life ain’t the movies. If a girl accepted a guy for his abusive behavior, she’d only end up being a victim of abuse again and again and again. If a guy accepts the fact that his girl’s a green-eyed monster who’s always accusing him of cheating on her every time he receives a text message from another girl, then he should be ready to spend his lifetime not talking to anyone of the opposite sex, because if he does, then he’ll have to keep defending himself and feel guilty all the time for doing something he never actually did. How emotionally exhausting!
Face it. Your jealousy doesn’t prove how much you love someone— it’ll only drive that person away. You can’t expect your best friend to just lie down and let you stomp all over them whenever you feel like having emotional outbursts, and then call them a bad friend when they won’t put up with you. Your insecurities may seem endearing at first, but when you let them rule you, you’ll end up fulfilling your own paranoid prophecies.
Sure, such behavior can be acceptable the first time (except abusive behavior, of course. Girl, if that guy so much as raises his hand to hit you, then you must walk away), but if this is the tenth time you feel disappointed by a certain way your partner/friend’s been treating you, then it’s about time you set things straight. Be more assertive and stand up for yourself. You can lend support, but you can’t let other people make you miserable.
And if you’ve been pissing your friend/partner off with your crappy behavior, please fix that attitude. If you truly loved someone, you wouldn’t want to hurt them.
'Thanks for letting me walk all over you when I was feeling PMS-y yesterday!'
'Oh, it's fine. What are friends for, after all?'
8 comments:
i have a guy friend who has a gf just like that: tak boleh tgk bf dpt sms dr ppuan lain and she'll start a war its pathetic. i stopped talking to him dah pun. idiot.
hey, i was walking through your post and found this:
http://aisyashurfa.blogspot.com/2007/11/in-relationship-take-heed.html
and i went omg because i had written something almost similar a long time ago, and i had only published it today after reading yours (which was a wonderful laugh). here:
http://ginny-uninterrupted.blogspot.com/2009/05/untuk-gfs-sahaja-like-seriously.html
Grrr I hate possessive girlfriends. They're like flipping parasites who just cant let go! They make me wanna grab them by the shoulders and just shake them so that they can wake up and see the world around them. Gah.
Oooh! *clicks on link* Will leave a comment bout your post there!
crazy arent they, possessive gfs? piss me off. one friend went, 'nani, i takleh contact you lagi dah pasni, my gf jeles. i kena jaga hati dia. sorry eh.'
i was mad. but i told him this, 'jangan cari nani lagi dah bila kamu sakit hati lepas ni.' and so i heard that after that they broke up like so freaking predictable and he predictably mailed me too with craps like 'i knw you wont respond to this' kinda thing. like ew.
i let it rot.
here's a post i wrote after his gf texted me, some time ago:
http://ginny-uninterrupted.blogspot.com/2009/03/darab-dua-tapi.html
it just amazes me so much, realizing that i'm sharing the same world with them.
*applause* Your last text message to her kicked her ass so hard...
That girl? Amat pathetic. I know some girls like that as well. Ya Allah. And the relationships they're in never last because the guys cannot tahan. Buat malu to all intelligent women everywhere.
And that girl's bf pun lagi sorang. Weakling.
tau pun. memang a mountain of embarrassment i tell you.
the boyfriend contacted me afterwards, asking, 'nani cakap apa pada i*a? dia bgtau ada msg nani lepas tu dia terasa dgn apa yg nani ckp. nani ckp apa?'
so i said, 'tanyalah dia. kalau bijak sangat SMS entah siapa-siapa dr phone BF, takkan tak reti save SMS yg orang tu balas?'
expectedly, we fought.
sampai sekarang tak bertegur sapa.
well. i have my ego. he has his GF's. happens that i just don't care.
but just to turn the tables around, i once had a bf who had a very close friendship with a girl.
i got very jealous, but i kept telling myself it was nothing, to the point i was just boiling inside and nobody knew it. there was even a point where i actually felt like telling him to break off his 'too close' friendship with this girl, but i never did, cos that would just be unfair. i actually trusted my bf, but not the girl. she would call him everyday (even i never did that), buy him food (heck, that was the last thing i would do to my bf)... and he ended up comparing me to her! wth!
Anyway, i broke it off with this guy, cos i couldn't stand the fact that he had too many close friends with girls. Am I pathetic? Maybe. But i couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life feeling all the insecurity.
What he did (comparing you to her) is so wronglah. What a jerk. I don't think it's right for a guy to be so close to other girls anyway cuz that'll mengundang fitnah and there's always the risk of feelings getting involved... Even if he doesn't like the girl while the girl does things like be all manja-manja with him, it's just so annoying and gedik lah. Man, I'd be angry, too, of course!
But being normal friends with other girls is fine, as long as they don't get too close for comfort...
You could've been more open with him tho instead of just letting your anger boil inside you... I'm sure there were other reasons you broke up with him tho, right? never mind. You're with someone better now anyway, so woohoo!
No, Aisya Shurfa, she is dead the corner of a locker room somewhere. The end. The moral of the story is: Don't fall in love and you won't end up hurting people. The moral matters not, though, seeing as you'll end up hurting somebody anyway.
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