Get Yourself Off the Floor!

Darling, you are a smart, attractive, funny woman. Why let that go to waste because one jerk mistreated you? Okay, yeah, there was that other ex of yours from last year… And the one from high school…

But seriously, I don’t know how many times I have to repeat this before you can finally understand this, but honey, stop depending on other people to make you happy! It’s this clingy, dependant attitude that pushes people away. It’s your jealousy that scares them off.

Now I know you’re gonna say I’m not qualified to say anything because I’ve never had my heart broken, but I do know what it’s like to be in a relationship, and I know exactly what pushes people away.

First and foremost, do something about that jealous streak of yours. They were right when they said that the reason you get jealous of other girls is because you’re insecure. You think those other girls are prettier than you, cleverer than you, wittier than you…

And this in turn makes you clingy. You think that once a guy falls for you, you’ve hit jackpot, and now you must never let him get out of your sight lest he accidently looks at another girl and finds her better than you. Why should he be with Frumpy when he could be with Fluffy? And if he leaves, your life is over because no one will ever fall for you because you’re such a loser. Well that’s what you think, anyway.

This sort of attitude consumes you from the inside. The only reason why you’re unattractive is because you let that entire negative attitude take over you. No one likes to be around those who are eternally pessimistic and self-conscious, so learn to love yourself.

When he dumps you, (and he will if you’re permanently moody and possessive,) don’t spend an entire year thinking about suicide and pain killers and crying your eyes out whenever Ne-Yo’s So Sick of Love Songs gets played. Use that time instead to start loving yourself. To learn that no one is responsible for making you happy except yourself.

You’re not ugly. There’s no such thing. Don’t believe me? Okay, I know for a FACT that some people find Michael Jackson totally sexay in his current state. You and I may think he looks like what the Grim Reaper may look like underneath the hood, but there are those who appreciate that kind of… face. I’m not saying I think you look like Michael Jackson, though…

And you may think you have zero talent in anything, but those heart-wrenching blog posts you write prove that you have a knack in writing. That bubbly personality that seems to shine when you’re in love should be allowed to come out even when you’re flying solo. And that can only happen when you can find happiness within yourself, without the help of some bloke who wasn’t even in your life when you had happier moments before romantic relationships were introduced to you. Wow, can you believe that? You are capable of being happy without being someone else’s girlfriend!

Come on, girl. Let’s get up off the floor, off our sorry behinds and start living. You’ll feel much better, and other people will want to be with you. And those boys who come trailing after you in the future? They’re just the icing on the cake.

Lots of love,

From Me.


ps: If you think this is directed towards you, it's probably because it is. ;)