How to be an annoying couple online.
1. Take about a hundred photos of you two together and post them up on friendster, so that people the world over know that you two are as close to each other as a pair of siamese twins are. The 100 other photos which are a bit ruder should be kept under the Private Photos Section if you don't want your parents/teachers/lecturers stumbling upon them.
2. Write a blog, spilling the beans on every private corner of your relationship to the world.
When you have an argument, write ahout it on your blog!
When you make up, write about in on your blog!
When you feel like you miss your other half, make sure you make it known to everyone that you miss your darling's voice, hands, eyes, lips, and other undisclosed parts, internal and external. When you break up, write an entry about how angry you are, then once everyone's read it and you are dealing with the feeling of regret that's grasping you by the neck, delete the whole blog off the face of the cyberworld.
3. Make sure you keep writing testimonials to your other half with the words 'I', 'Love', and 'You' every once in a while so that your other half's profile page may ALWAYS, I repeat, ALWAYS have at least 3 testimonials from you at any given time.
Oh, and make sure you snap a photo of yourself and post that in a testimonial too, lest people forget that you're his/her boyfriend/girlfriend.
4. Make sure your profile provides enough information about the relationship you're in. For example:
Occupation: My Boyfriend's Girlfriend. (Or vice-versa).
Affiliations: I am attached to My Boyfriend / Girlfriend.
Hobbies and Interests: Watching TV, (INSERT SIGNIFICANT
OTHER'S NAME HERE), sleeping, chatting, (INSERT SIGNIFICANT OTHER'S NAME HERE TOO), playing football, listening to the radio. I preferably like doing all of the above things with my (INSERT SIGNIFICANT OTHER'S NAME HERE ONE LAST TIME).
Favorite Movies: Any movies watched with my girlfriend/boyfriend.
Who I would like to meet: (INSERT SIGNIFICANT OTHER'S NAME HERE)
Your 'About Me' section must include information about how you love and fancy your other half, and how you two met, as well as what qualities you love about him/her. Extra points if your 'About Me' is written by your other half.
If you follow the above steps closely, you're well on your way to being the sweetest, most vomit-inducing couple in the world.
Lots of love,
from a very annoyed Me.
ps: Moderation.
9 comments:
HAHAHAHA!
You are the definition of pure evil.
I've never been prouder of you, sis!
More mean, make-fun-of-other-people-posts!
That;s not good... One of my resolutions was to stop making fun of other people...
But lets just make me feel better by telling myself that this is for the better, right? I am saving the world from evil annoying people!
I thought it was good! But people might, well, lack a grasp on reality and take it a little too personally and actually follow it.
It's funny. This buddha is laughing.
hahahahaha... i know one profile dat fits all those criteria u mentioned... n i think u noe which profile i'm talkin aboot.. yes, aboot... hahahahaha....
yup, annoying! like what is it they cannot understand about the word "me" in "About Me"???
Oh, Steph, you should read the angry reply I got for writing this! I'll tell you about it soon... So controversial... lol.
such a demonic villainy
but it's really funny.
haha thanks! I believe you're my sister's student?
I'd expect lots of hatemail after writing this one, but Alhamdulillah, more people actually agree with me!
To the certain someone who feels 'terasa' after reading this, I didn't mean to criticise with the intention of hurting you. The word 'moderation' at the end of the post is meant to mean that you can do whatever you want, but don't go overboard; moderation is the key.
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