AWAS.

Why oh why oh why oh why oh why???

WHY AM I SUCH A KLUTZ?!

I'm a frickin natural disaster! I'm like frickin Ugly Betty, or that annoying Susan Mayer from Desperate Housewives! I should be walking with a flashing neon sign on my forehead, reading 'WARNING: AISYA SEDANG BERGERAK'.

I can't go out without tripping at least once a day.

I can't eat a meal without dropping sauce all down my front or sending cutlery soaring through the air.

I can't even chew food without accidently biting the inside of my lower lip and causing an ulcer!

I'm a hazard.

Today, I spent the first half of the day at a little get-together with old friends from my St John's era at St John's (forgive my bad writing. I'm listening to really loud music to drown my sorrows, and I can't write proper when I'm listening to music...). We spent a few hours laughing and chatting and eating, and when everyone had left, there was still some packets of food left. So one of the teachers insisted that I take one home.

So I took it. I took the nasi tomato, which was put into one of those evil white unbiodegradeable polystyrene packets. The teacher took the plastic bag which it was originally placed in because another student needed the plastic bag.

So I went home with Ashli on the usual U82 bus, which was unusually crowded. All the seats were taken, so I had to stand up. The People Who Did Not Get Up To Offer Me Their Seat (PWDNGUTOMTS) made a big mistake then and there by not offering me their seats!

So there I was, standing in the bus, trying to balance as the thing moved. It was tough - I was holding the pole in one hand, and a file with the polystyrene packet in the other. I was stumbling about everywhere, and the PWDNGUTOMTS should've seen that as a warning to get up and offer me their seats!

But NO, no one took heed. It was only a matter of time before I screwed up.

I had reached my stop at Pusat Bandar Damansara when suddenly the bus halted abruptly.

And that's when it happened.

The polystyerene packet opened, and rice flew everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

I watched in absolute horror as the little grains of rice exploded through the air in slow motion, amidst gasps coming from other passangers. And it all landed on a poor unsuspecting school kid. The chicken ended up hitting a poor old man's knee before finding its way under the seat of someone who looked quite dangerous.

(above: A klutz in action)

I began apologising like crazy once everything had returned to normal speed. The poor unsuspecting kid looked rather dazed as I handed him a tissue while muttering 'I'm so sorry' to him about a million times. The rice had landed all over his front and had managed to creep into his bag, and there were a few grains in his hair which Ashli picked out. Some nice lady offered me a plastic bag, and I thanked her a graciously for her kindess.

I never did make it to Pusat Bandar Damansara. I decided to stay in the bus to help the poor ki d clean himself up. When that was done, I got out near Eastin Hotel because I couldn't stand the shame.

I made my way over to the nearest petrol station to buy myself two bottles of Pepsi to drown my mortification and some green tea for Ashli.

Then we caught another bus, which thankfully had a few empty seats for me sit on and not cause any more danger.

Why do these things happen to me?

I guess I'm just uniquely coordinated. Or, to put it simply, I'm just a darn clumsy bumbling muppet.

Lots of love spread clumsily over the keyboard,

from Me.

ps: Thank you, Saraa, for making me feel a trillion times better, and thanks, Ashli, for not making feel like a complete fool! :)